Updated: Oct 25, 2020
I feel blessed to have celebrated another birthday, but that person who said age ain't nothin' but a number - seriously lied! Depending on your age you either love it or loathe it.
They say there are stages in life and I guess I’m at the stage of contemplation. I’m reflecting on my life to understand how I got to this point and simply because I got time today.
As a babies, we depend on our parents to make the best decisions for us. We are totally incapable of doing anything for ourselves, but we learn how to become manipulative. That baby learns that if she cries or laughs she gets something to her satisfaction!
As a child, you are curious, brave, willing to risk it all to take that first step, taste the unfamiliar, and try it your way. We aren’t afraid to say no, or think twice before being brutally honest. Some of us are fearless until somebody says or does something that hurts our feelings and we realize that there are consequences to some of these actions.
As a teen, it’s all about self discovery and for some reason we think that our parents are the dumbest people on the face of the earth. Everything that they’ve taught or instilled in us is every bit of wrong and we’re hell bent on proving it because we think we can do it better. This is the time when we either learn the lesson or fail the tests.
My twenties were some of the best and worst years of my life because I felt unstoppable. I did what I wanted to do and couldn’t care less about what anybody else thought. I could eat what I wanted and not gain weight; I didn’t have to stress about removing makeup before I went to bed; I was bold with my decisions because I had a safety net - if it didn’t work, try it a different way. Being 20 was definitely an excuse to make the most dumbest moves in life.
My thirties is when I understood the effects of those dumb moves that were made in my twenties. It’s when I knew there weren’t any more free passes or do overs. The mistakes we make at this age will have you stewing in your own shit because you absolutely know better and nobody wants to keep rescuing a grown-ass man or woman. Your parents are now looking at you for answers to your reasons why you do the things you do, and “tough-love” seems to be the consensus.
I think it’s when you hit your forties that you realize life doesn’t have to be so complicated. It’s what you make of it. You’ve been through enough to know that you cannot keep making the same mistakes over and over or you’ll find yourself by yourself. The moves we make are more strategic because there’s too much at stake. We got kids looking to us for guidance and we have to lead by example. There’s no more “oh you’ll figure it out.” It’s more “what the hell were you thinking.” You are tired of starting over so this is the only time to get it right. There are some things that you wish you would’ve done differently, but it’s your journey and only you can change the narrative.
You may not be where you want to be, but you are where you’re supposed to be at this very moment. So be the best version of you in the space that you’re in because it’s nobody’s business how you decide to live your life, as long as you’re willing to accept everything that comes along with the choices you make.